For many people, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s a chance to indulge in festive food and drink, and, most importantly, spend time with your family and friends. The festive period is also expensive, with retailers vying for our hard-earned cash.
But not all Christmas decorations and novelty items are made equally. The holidays might be primarily targetted towards children (after all, they’re the ones with the biggest expectations), but some Christmas designers have decided to make some very NSFW items.
Here are 16 designers who’re definitely on Santa’s naughty list this year…
1. It’s beginning to look a lot like sh*tmas
People love icing sugar and icicles around the festive season. It’s not known exactly what this giant turd was supposed to be, but it’s hard to believe that any mall would legitimately think that a human waste-shaped decoration would be a good idea.
2. Can you hear the angels’ voices?
Well, it turns out that the angels who’re singing at Christmas aren’t celebrating the birth of Jesus, they’re celebrating something else entirely.
3. Is that a giant toe?
Oh, wait a minute, it’s actually the baby Jesus!
4. So that’s why Santa’s smiling all of the time…
When I was a kid, I always thought that being one of Santa’s elves would be a fun job, but it turns out that it’s actually a pretty taxing role.
Christmas might be a time for spending with the family we already have, but few people know that most babies are conceived over the holidays. Apparently, the drop in temperature inspires a lot of couples to come up with a different way of keeping warm!
5. Someone’s got too excited about Santa…
Horrifyingly, this was made by a (we hope) innocent grandma.
6. Talk about a white Christmas
Apparently condom sales double in the week leading up to Christmas, but if this picture is anything to go by, people aren’t buying enough!
7. No one is jumping for joy off a bridge
This has got to be a joke.
8. Santa’s a lot kinkier than any of us knew
It turns out that Santa’s a bum man.
One of the few opportunities people have to be deliberately NSFW at Christmas is Secret Santa, especially if it’s done anonymously with the intention of buying gag gifts. In fact, some websites encourage people to buy rude secret Santa gifts and enjoy the hilarity that ensues!
9. Santa’s a real d*ick
But you don’t have to look far to find a rude Christmas gift. I wonder if this was made in the same mold as dildos are during the year…
10. Have yourself a spermy little Christmas
Make your yuletides white…
11. Butt plug or Christmas tree?!
I’ll let you be the judge of this very bizarre Christmas decoration. Some people take modern art a step too far…
12. T*ts now!
Or, should I say, let it snow!
Clearly, Christmas makes us grown-ups very kinky. In fact, in Russia, which is famous for its heavy snowfall in the winter, a group of people were recently filmed doing naked aerobics near a highway. It’s not known whether they lost a bet or not.
13. Is this a swingers’ Christmas dinner?
Those napkins were either folded by a confused grandma or one seriously kinky individual.
14. Okay, we get it Santa, you’re insatiable
And to think that so many children look up to Father Christmas!
15. Joy to the world!
I wonder if this was deliberate or not.
16. Santa’s had too much mulled wine
Ridiculous Christmas jumpers are customary for adults and children alike over the holidays, but this mom probably should have taken a closer look at her son’s jumper before letting him wear it to school…
So there you have it, 16 designers who’re definitely on Santa’s naughty list this year. Whilst they’re enjoying lumps of coal on Christmas Day, at least they can take some comfort in the knowledge that they’ve made people ho ho ho with laughter this holiday season.